The Recipe To Taming Your Inner Critic

I vividly recall my first day as a VP. I was convinced they'd made a mistake.

I kept looking over my shoulder, waiting for the executive team to come to their senses. In my first leadership meeting, everyone seemed so much more experienced and capable that I stayed quiet, my thoughts screaming, "I don't belong here!"

But here's the kicker: if you'd met me just a few months later, you wouldn't have believed I ever questioned myself. I was the most vocal in those meetings, freely pushing back on the CEO and my fellow leaders.

What changed?

I realized that my self-doubt wasn't a flaw—it was a sign of growth.

Imposter syndrome is the career equivalent of growing pains. It's not just normal; it's a sign that you're stretching beyond your comfort zone and evolving into a more capable version of yourself.

Just like those childhood aches signaled that your body was developing, imposter syndrome often indicates that you're stepping up, taking on new challenges, and yes, sometimes feeling a bit uncomfortable in the process.

If you find yourself doubting your abilities despite a track record of success, you're not alone.

It's irrational, but it's also incredibly common, especially among high achievers.

The good news? There are practical steps you can take to move through these feelings and claim your rightful place as a leader.

Here are three key actions to help you take control of your inner critic.

1. Stop Disqualifying Yourself

Think of your career like a courtroom drama: you're innocent until proven guilty.

In this case, you're qualified until proven otherwise. Many of us do the opposite – we assume we're not qualified and look for evidence to support that belief.

It's time to flip the script.

The reality is if you're considering a VP role or any leadership position, you've likely already mostly qualified for it.

How do I know?

People who struggle with their current role don’t have time to think about the next level.

If you are considering it, you’re probably more qualified than you think.

But, like everything that has to do with our mindset, it’s easier said than done.

I have two go-to reframes you can use to push back on your thoughts.

1. When you catch yourself thinking, "I'm not ready" or "I can't do this," ask yourself, "What concrete evidence do I have that I'm not qualified?" 95% of the time you'll realize there is little to none.

But if you are still not sure, trick your brain to give you evidence that you’re ready and able.

Simply ask yourself: Why not me? The format of the question forces your brain to come up with the best defense and in the process tell you all the reasons you are perfect for the job.

2. For the days that you need a reminder of who you are and what you are capable of, gather your evidence. Create a "brag list" of your achievements, skills, and experiences. This isn't just about work, we’re talking about every life achievement you are proud of. Every one of those was hard-earned and is living proof that you can do hard things. Like being an executive.

Waiting to feel 100% ready often means waiting forever. Don’t wait to feel ready, take action and become ready in the process.

2. Reframe Self-Doubt as Growth

Every leader at some point questions themselves—it's not a weakness. It's a sign you're challenging yourself.

When you feel out of your depth, remind yourself that you're pushing your boundaries. That's where real growth happens.

No pain, no gain. No fear, no growth.

I used to try and ignore the fear. I thought it made me brave. But you can’t really argue with your inner critic. And the more you try to ignore it, the louder it gets.

So instead, join the conversation.

“You bet I don’t feel ready… but guess what? That means I’m moving in the right direction”

“I may not be 100% qualified YET, but I will figure it out like I have before”

Strengthen the voice of your inner queen (or king) to drown the voice of your inner critic.

I used to keep a post-it note on my laptop that said, "Your title says VP. Believe in it." This constant reminder helped me internalize my role and act with the confidence it required.

3. Build a Support System

What’s better than tutting your own horn? Having other people sing your praise.

When the inner critic gets loud, you can get some external help. Kind of like how Iron Man calls the Avengers when he’s facing a big challenge.

Advocates are critical. They remind you of the value you bring when you're doubting yourself. Having a strong network of supporters can provide perspective when you're questioning yourself and help normalize your experiences.

Consider them your go-to "lie detectors" when your inner critic is working overtime.

Who can qualify as an advocate? While you can technically rely on family and friends, they can be biased as they love you unconditionally.

Aim for people who know you in a work setting and whom you can trust to provide honest feedback.

One of my students was doubting her ability to become a VP, despite having a killer track record. The solution was to chat with two ex-managers and one colleague who told her they could clearly see her in the role.

Ideally, you should develop an unbreakable belief in yourself, but every now and then it’s helpful to get some validation.

Make sure you know who your Avengers are.

Your Next Steps

Your inner critic (a.k.a imposter syndrome) never goes away completely—and that's okay.

What matters is how you can control the situation. Every time you feel like an imposter, remind yourself: stagnant professionals don’t feel like imposters.

Believing in yourself isn't a one-time event—it's a habit. A muscle you need to develop.

When you can do that, you'll find that the “HOW” becomes easier. Believing in yourself truly is a superpower—and it's one that's within your reach.

I believe in you, and I’m rooting for you.

Maya ❤️

P.S. Your inner critic may be loud, but that doesn’t make it right.